Workin' It Wednesday!
Hi friends!! Happy Wednesday!!
This month's topic is: How We Work on Our Marriage!
Perfect for the month of LOVE!
So- just for a little background on Aaron and me...we met on Match.com 10 1/2 years ago :)
On March 29th- we will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary...which doesn't really seem possible because I feel like we were JUST dating! But then I see our FIVE kids and it feels VERY real that we have been married for almost 9 years! HA!
I thought it would be fun to include Aaron's thoughts in this post....you know- since I am married to HIM- HA!
Here's what he said about how we work on our marriage:
- We pick our battles. We both REALLY think about what's worth bickering/fighting over and let the rest of it GO!
- We work on keeping things spontaneous- for us, as with most married couples who have children, this can be a little tricky. We aren't able to just pick up and go away for a long weekend...but we DO try to fit little moments of spontaneity in throughout the day. Maybe that's leaving a love note (Aaron likes to put them in places like my wallet or in my planner:), surprising each other with a little treat, stealing a couple of kisses in the laundry room while the kids are playing or taking advantage of an unexpected morning he has off from work and going to work out together!
-We make time for each other...even when it feels like there is NO time to be had!
Some simple ways we do this is: we like to have lunch "dates" on Saturday and Sunday...we feed the kids first, put the boys down for their naps and the girls go to their room and play. We enjoy a lovely, quiet lunch together and it is such a great way to catch up from our busy week! We have our favorite shows we watch together and we really enjoy snuggling up on the couch and relaxing together. We also love working out together- we drop our kiddos off at the childcare center at our gym (we belong to a local YMCA) and we go have a "workout" date! On paper- it seems like there is NEVER enough time to carve out for one another...but there really is! There just has to be a concerted effort to MAKE time!
Now here's MY thoughts on how we work on our marriage...
- I couldn't agree more with what Aaron said about picking your battles. And in addition to that- we really focus on being FORGIVING. We always try to assume the best of each other- not the WORST. If Aaron said or did something that hurt me- I know, most likely, he didn't do it on purpose. We talk about the issue, FORGIVE and MOVE ON. Life is TOO SHORT to hold a silly grudge against the person you love the most!
- We view our marriage as a gift and really treat it that way. I love being able to serve Aaron as his wife and I know he feels the same way about me. We are a really great team and it's because we are grateful for each other and what the other person contributes to our marriage.
- I love my husband how HE (not me) feels MOST loved. Aaron's primary love language is physical touch. So since I want to keep this G-rated...you can make your own assumptions on what exactly I am implying here ;) But seriously- emotional AND physical intimacy in a marriage is SO VERY important! Don't let your crazy schedules, your kids or you just being "too tired" get in the way of connecting with your hubby :)
And that's all I am going to say about that! HA!
About a month ago- I shared some marriage goals Aaron and I are working on this year...you can read about them HERE!
I am really happy to report that we are continuing to focus on our goals and haven't just let them fall to the wayside!
I am so thankful for my marriage and for Aaron. We are FAR from perfect- but we respect each other, love one another fiercely and truly have a blast being together.
We are so grateful God placed us together 10 1/2 years ago and continue to praise Him for all that he has done for us.
All the good times, hard times and everything in between- we count it all as JOY.
So- now it's your turn! Please share some ways YOU work on your marriage!!
Hope you have the BEST day!
I loved seeing your wedding picture, and also hearing Aaron's thoughts. Your tips are so true and your marriage is going strong after 9 years! I would say the biggest thing I have learned about marriage is to let the small things go. Sometimes I can be bossy (ha!), and after a few years of marriage I realized that things didn't have to be EXACTLY how I wanted them. It is empowering and affirming to trust your spouse with decisions, whether it's what restaurant to go to or what your weekend plans are. This is something I'm working on daily!
ReplyDeleteMy husband was married once before and as much as this used to bother me when we were dating, I've learned that his previously failed relationship really helped him grow and be a better husband the second and FINAL time around ;)
ReplyDeletethis is awesome and love hearing Aaron's thoughts as well! great tips ! hope you can check my post out as well!
ReplyDeleteI should start having Aaron write blog posts..he really has some great thoughts and opinions!! :)
DeleteYes on picking your battles! Some things just aren't worth bickering over - totally agree! Love making time for each other even if it seems impossible. It's really the little things!
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It really is the little things Kristi!!! Thanks for your encouragement!! :)
DeleteI love that picture of you guys on your wedding day. You are so joyful!!
ReplyDeleteI've loved your "love story" since I first read it a long time ago...it's just so sweet and perfectly made for the two of you. You were truly meant for each other at the most perfect timing!! I will admit, picking my battles is hard. We're getting better, but it's definitely not one of our strong points. I love all of your (and Aaron's) tips - great advice for couples AND to new parents!
ReplyDeleteThe first couple years of our marriage we really struggled with picking our battles and "keeping score"...it took a little bit for us both to figure out it just wasn't a good use of our time to be wasting it on silly arguments and who was right and/or wrong!! Marriage is so sanctifying...isn't it?? :)
DeleteYES YES AND YES!! Great post my sweet friend!! Love that wedding picture! And you love story is my favorite...well after mine! ;)
ReplyDeleteOh thank you friend!!!
DeleteIt's great you mentioned physical intimacy - I wasn't brave enough to go there (ha ha!) but you didn't it so delicately it was really great (and true!). I like that you included your husband in your post.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet post!! I love all of the good reminders, hearing from both of you and your ideas for dates. That's smart to do lunch dates at home - I'm going to have to try that one. I also love your gym dates. We love to go on walks so we'll load the kids up and head out on a long walk to catch up on our days. Also, your section about assuming the BEST is something I could really improve on. Sometimes I'm quick to respond in a grumpy way instead of assuming it was just a misunderstanding.
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