Thoughts for Thursday!
How has your week been?
We are SO enjoying the freedom that summer break brings...I am LOVING having all of my kids home all day with me!!
Speaking of freedom....this past Sunday, I stopped nursing my precious baby boy!
He will be 11 months in a couple of days and it was time for both of us to be done. I nursed all three of my girls until 11 months too- it is so interesting- they all were ready to be done at the same time!
I have never been "emotional" about breastfeeding. If that makes any sense?!? I have exclusively breastfed all 4 of my kids- and feel so grateful for this! I have never had any issues and have always had a great milk supply. But- when it was time to be done- I was READY and actually quite excited that there was going to be a new level of freedom for me and my baby!
With all that being said....it has been a little different this time around with James. As of right now....we feel like our family is wonderfully complete with our 4 babies. Which means when I nursed James for the last time, it was quite possibly my LAST time EVER nursing a baby. Cue all the emotions and some tears on my part.
I have been so immersed in pregnancy, babies and breastfeeding for the last 6 years, it is such a shift for me to think about that chapter of my life being over!
I think I have come to terms with the fact that even though we are (probably- never say never :) done having babies...I am always going to have the Ache in my heart.
Sarah Bessey, a blogger, wrote a post about "the ache" and this excerpt completely sums up how I am feeling:
And yet there is The Ache.
Always The Ache, right underneath my lungs, in the pit of my gut, the ache of what that means and the grief of moving on, of love, of knowing: No more babies. No more nursing quietly in the night. No more flour sack of milk-drunk baby bliss. No more gummy smiles. No more tiny diapers. No more baby clothes. No more crib. No more baby wearing. No more new baby smell. No more of the millions of moments that knit your heart so completely to another small soul.
So right now...I am learning to live with the Ache and absolutely enjoying every single second I have with my precious children. Seriously- I am even soaking up with my 3 year freaks out and screams bloody murder...because it really all is such a GIFT.
On a lighter note :), James maybe had 2 bottles total over the past 11 months...he REFUSED to take them. Little guy is now OBSESSED with his bottle of milk and does a happy baby dance and grunts very assertively (HA!) whenever he sees his bottle now. So happy he is loving his bottle and I am SO thankful we still get to snuggle while I am feeding him!!
And now his big sisters get to help feed him...which is SO much fun!!
So grateful to be on this journey of motherhood....forever and ever. AMEN :)
I totally understand "the ache." I felt it when I finished nursing my son, and - to be honest - I still feel it a little, and he is five years old. All we can do is enjoy every second, right?
ReplyDeleteYour kids are adorable, by the way! You have a beautiful family.
"The Busy Brunette"
http://thebusybrunette.blogspot.com/
Thank you for commenting!! I am so glad to know that "the ache" is normal :) My mom said the same thing!! I really appreciate your kind words! :)
DeleteMy youngest is 11 months old today and isnt showing any sign of giving up nursing, but I guess I'm prepared, her big sister nursed until she was 2 and I totally get what you mean when you were DONE :) So right about enjoying the motherhood journey, tantrums and all.
ReplyDeleteHi Whitney! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! You are amazing for nursing that long with your oldest daughter!!
DeleteI've never experienced "the ache" but I'm 100% sure it's a real thing. I'm currently pregnant with our 1st and can only imagine how it feels for your babies to be growing up. I have no real-life advice, but to just enjoy them and every moment you have! :)
ReplyDeleteKatie! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Congratulations on expecting your first baby- HOW WONDERFUL!! And loving every moment I have with them is exactly what I do! Being a mom seriously is the best! :)
DeleteOh....the ache...that never goes away...but I think it changes over time. You are totes having 5! I have always seen it that way. One more ;)
ReplyDeleteOh....the ache...that never goes away...but I think it changes over time. You are totes having 5! I have always seen it that way. One more ;)
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