Thoughts for Thursday: My Prayer for this Year

Hey friends!!!

Happy Thursday!!!

How has your week been so far??

I know I can't be the only one that is doing a little happy dance that it's Friday Eve?!?

Today I wanted to share my "Prayer of the Year." 

I have had years where I have had a "word of the year," other years, it's been a "theme of the year." Other years it's been NOTHING...because I just needed to survive life in the season that we were in!

For the past couple of months, God has placed on my heart that 2019 needed to be different for me.

Last year, while it was filled SO many wonderful things, felt very hard for me. For a multitude of reasons....some of which that I still need to share with ya'll (please...could I just have a few more hours in the day?!? HA!) 

I felt like, a lot of the time, I was in a state of TENSION.

LOVING my life and feeling SO grateful to be a mom of 5 beautiful, healthy children and at the same time- feeling completely overwhelmed, exhausted and stretched really thin by said beautiful children;) And then feeling horribly guilty for feeling that way.

Feeling SO proud of my husband for all he has accomplished with going back to school and having such a GREAT job and at the same time- feeling frustrated that he is at work more than he is home. And then feeling horribly guilty for feeling that way.

Feeling incredible FORTUNATE that I have such a good job that allows me to work a flexible schedule while helping precious little kiddos and at the same time- feeling not fulfilled by my career and wanting to do SO many other things. And then feeling horribly guilty for feeling that way.

You see what I mean?!? It was a roller coaster of a year. HA!

And so I have been praying and thinking and praying some more and initially I thought I was going to have "words" for this year- and they were going to be SERVANT and ENOUGH.

Servant...while I take care of my family (pretty well in my humble opinion), I have not had a servant's heart about it this past year. While cleaning up a spill, I would grudgingly think frustrated thoughts. I would throw mini tantrums (mostly to my husband) about how I JUST CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE. I would outwardly show my exasperation with my kids when they needed help with "just one more thing." So while I was totally taking care of them- I wasn't truly serving them.

And Enough. I constantly felt like I wasn't enough last year. Like I wasn't a good enough wife. A good enough mom. A good enough daughter. You get the point. 

I knew I was doing okay...but I knew I could be doing better...and that's when I felt like I wasn't enough.

Are you still with me?? HA!

These are pretty deep thoughts for a random Thursday! HA!

And then I came across this prayer last week and I was like, "Ok, Holy Spirit- I GET IT. I HEAR you!"

"Lord, help my heart to be where you have placed my feet."

*HUGE shoutout to my blogging bestie Johannah for creating this beautiful graphic for me. Love you Johannah!*

WOW.

Talk about getting hit with such clarity!!

This prayer has rocked my world and it is absolutely my anthem for the next year (and hopefully for the rest of my life!)

I HAVE to let go of the tension I feel of wanting something different than what is my reality RIGHT NOW.

I have big dreams. I have SO many personal interests and goals. I want to do SO much with my husband. I want to be EVERYTHING for my kids. I want to give more time to others who need me. 

But for now- my feet have been placed at home (while also working a wonderful part-time job) with 5 young children, who each have VERY different personalities and NEED me to be there for them. I have a husband who works himself into the ground...all for his family and he NEEDS me. And I have myself to take care of...because if I don't- I can't take care my people. 

Right now- my feet have been placed right where God wants them and I need to embrace, with open arms, the season of life that I am in.

And I think by embracing right where my feet have been placed, that tension I have been feeling will dissipate and becoming a better servant will happen naturally and I will trust in knowing that by following God's plan for my life that I.AM.ENOUGH.

So that is my "prayer of the year"-

LORD, 

HELP MY HEART TO BE WHERE YOU HAVE PLACED MY FEET.

Here's to living out that prayer and knowing that God has me right where he wants me. 

And I am SO grateful for that truth. 

I'd love to know...do you have a word/theme/prayer for this year??? Please share in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so! :)

Hope you have the BEST day!

One more thing- I wanted to share the Etsy store where you can buy a beautiful print of this prayer. The shop is called Fawnly Prints. I came across this prayer on the shop owner's Instagram feed!! You can find the print HERE!

 Linking up with Stefanie, Keri, Mauri, Sarah, and Lindsay (one day late) today!